What we Gain from Loss

I sit eating my dinner amongst a family that is whole, but yet so empty.

I look across the room. Your wedding photo was taken from the frame and replaced with a new one. Your daughter, wife, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-laws, and nieces and nephews are here – but you’re not.

Sixteen years has passed since you were tragically killed in a car accident.

It’s not what we lost. It’s what we never got to have.

I ask my dad, “How do you do it?”

He said, “I do it for my brother.”

Through the horrendous circumstances of losing his brother just a few years after losing his father, my dad has remained optimistic, positive, and has always, always moved forward.

We go on because we have to. Because there simply isn’t another option.

Would you live differently if you knew loss was coming your way? It’s so easy to take for granted our lives – our family, our friends, our surroundings. We only begin to appreciate them when they are taken from us. How do we bring gratitude in our lives before we are forced by tragedy?

Here’s what my family compiled:

Appreciate every single day.

Try to accomplish something each day.

Don’t sleep your life away.

Do something that will make the world better.

Listen more to the seemingly insignificant things that your family says. Once someone is gone, these details fade.

Savor every moment because it’s not going to last forever. Parents age, kids grow, situations change, and bad things happen that you couldn’t have predicted.

Live in the present. When you’re with people – be with those people, not virtual people.

Tell those you love that you appreciate them.

Don’t miss birthdays.

Apologize. Don’t hold a grudge.

Buy vacations with your family – not items.

Don’t rush your life away.

Enjoy the now.

Have hope. The past sucked but the future holds promise.

Nothing is certain. Time is precious.

Memories you create with the people you love are your most valuable commodities.

From left to right: My dad, sister, late Uncle Eric, and me.