Embrace the Uncomfortable

A couple nights ago over dinner, I asked my friend, Tim Flynn, a speech-language pathologist and a person who stutters, if he had any advice for me just starting graduate school.

Tim said, “Don’t become complacent within your comfort zone.”

This came the night before seeing my first individual client and I was scared half to death. Truth was, I felt uncomfortable. I was complacent with stuttering. This was beyond my comfort zone. Something I’ve never done; something I wasn’t even sure I was capable of.

We have imaginary walls that define our comfort zone. It feels good to live between these barriers. Within these walls we excel at our strengths and this space becomes safe and rewarding. But we often dwell so long in this space that we forget what lies beyond.

Truth is – you can’t have courage if you don’t let yourself feel uncomfortable.

“We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

-Brene Brown

The situations we learn the most from are often the ones where we feel the most uncomfortable. We feel awkward, uneasy, and unqualified. These are the situations that are beginning to give off that “DING” in my head. The green light signaling that courage is necessary. Time to press on the gas and go even if you have no idea where you will end up.

This semester, I am a student clinician in the avoidance reduction therapy stuttering group. Leaving your comfort zone is the heart of this therapy. It’s about risk taking, shame busting, and reducing your fear. Change occurs by embracing the uncomfortable and entering situations outside of your walls. 

I have a quote on my wall from the Successful Stuttering Management Program. It reads:

“If you want something you never had, you must do something you never have.”

You can’t grow if you always play it safe. When you stay within your self-constructed walls, you run the risk of never reaching your true potential.

It’s hard to tear down those walls. We don’t want to fail. But what if we’re supposed to fail? What if failing and incompetence were the prerequisites to learning and succeeding? If we did everything perfectly, education would not exist. Knowledge would be stagnant. There would be no growth.

Our walls keep us from pain, hurt, struggle, and all those nasty emotions that come with taking a risk. But they block out growth, learning, inspiration, connection, and change.

Leaving your comfort zone is a life-long journey. Growing up, my dad always told me to keep challenging myself. He is the perfect exemplar of that. He is 60 years old and continues to seize new opportunities, take risks, leave his comfort zone, and succeed. He is my inspiration to never settle and keep pushing my walls.

After my session with my first client, I ran into the student room and yelled, “I DID IT!”

I beat down the walls of my comfort zone and succeeded. I loved every minute of the session. I learned so much in those 50 minutes about myself and what I am capable of. It was scary entering into a new and uncertain environment, but the feeling of relief, accomplishment, self-satisfaction, and pride that I experienced afterward can only occur outside of the walls of your comfort zone.

I’ll repeat it again, “Don’t become complacent within your comfort zone.”

Never settle. Recognize when it’s time to knock down those walls. Always challenge yourself to new and different opportunities. Never stop growing.

Invite the uncomfortable, muster your courage, and take a risk.